Tag Archives: football
New Job for Mouriniho
Do you remember that little guy who used to stomp around his bunker waving his arms at his men? You remember! Tried to conquer Europe, had a bad relationship with the Russians? No not Hitler! Jose Mouriniho – that’s the … Continue reading
Premier
Vets in South Molton, Devon, have started a new fantasy football league for cows. The competing herds win points for productivity, fertility and good health. Each herd is named after a football team so that the farmers can check their … Continue reading
Foul
Ronaldo has been voted Football Player of the Year for the second time. It’s probably because of those dazzling stepovers that confuse and torment opponents who just want to get on with the match. I noticed that he tried a few … Continue reading
Cryptic Code
Manchester United footballer, Nani, has been criticised for playing ‘keepy-uppie’ during the match with Arsenal. The fact that he had scored two goals and helped create two more was torment enough for the Arsenal players and this piece of exhibition … Continue reading
The harder they fall
It’s Man United versus West Ham and the Hammers are putting up a damn good fight. United’s manager, Sir Alex, is becoming apoplectic in the dugout. Over on the wing, Ron, that foreign chap who plays for United, is doing … Continue reading
A new wolf on the block
FA chairman Brian Barwick squinted into the glare of a thousand camera flashes with the facial expression of a man trying to work out the square root of 573. “We wanted a winner with a capital W,” he barked, as … Continue reading