The Open Wound

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Entries Tagged as 'News Around'

Poor turnout

September 7th, 2010 · No Comments · News Around

So, last night after a nice dinner and bath I wandered down to the Wine Alley Barn to cast my vote in the local elections.  I had carefully chosen the candidate whom I was going to vote for, but when I arrived, they told me I could choose any three candidates from twelve. 
It’s a [...]

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What’s big and smells of fish?

September 6th, 2010 · No Comments · News Around

Technicians in New Zealand have begun to thaw a rare colossal squid specimen.
The operation to defrost the 10-metre (34 feet) long, half-tonne squid began on Monday afternoon in Wellington. The animal is now sitting in a bath of salt water. Once it is thawed, scientists will begin to dissect it.
I know how they feel, [...]

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Foul

September 6th, 2010 · No Comments · Hearsay and Gossip, News Around

Ronaldo has been voted Football Player of the Year for the second time.
It’s probably because of those dazzling stepovers that confuse and torment opponents who just want to get on with the match.  I noticed that he tried a few of them during the game against Barcelona shortly before he missed that penalty.  Still, what’s impressive [...]

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Mouthful

September 5th, 2010 · No Comments · News Around

The former president of Turkmenistan changed the names of various months and days in the calendar to be the same as those of his mother, his title and various historical figures.  Due to popular demand, the new president, President Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, is reverting the Turkmen calendar to its original form.
 
At first, it was thought that [...]

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Manure

September 4th, 2010 · No Comments · News Around, Unlikely Reviews

 

A foul smell detected in parts of England and Wales is being blamed on easterly winds bringing farming or industrial smells across the Channel.
Labelled “Euro-whiff” by the Met Office, the source of the smell – alternately described as sulphur and manure – is under investigation.
 
But these pages can exclusively reveal that the hideous stink [...]

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Is anybody there?

September 3rd, 2010 · No Comments · Hearsay and Gossip, News Around

Madam Ovary is giving a psychic reading to a middle aged, grey man who is clutching a brief case to his chest and balancing a bowler hat on his lap.
“The mist is clearing from my mind, my spirit medium is here, in this room with us.”
“I don’t see him.”
 
“Obviously not, he’s dead and I’m a [...]

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