Category Archives: Unlikely Reviews

Mocking the X-flicted

X Factor judge Louis Walsh was unable to attend the live show this weekend and so he was forced to watch it on television. He said: “I never want to watch the show from home again. I’ve been shouting at … Continue reading

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Fired up

Here at ‘theOpenWound’ the staff are talking about last night’s ‘The Apprentice’.   Apparently, Sir Alan got so excited that he sacked two hopefuls rather than the expected one.  “There’s no written rule that says I can only fire one … Continue reading

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Commuting in the Shires

I wave goodbye to the cat, walk down Wine Alley, through Grasping Close, around the Council Offices and Waitinrows Supermarket, up the exhale-ators beyond Marks and Spendloads and into the Strain station.  I can hear the other punters thoughts: One … Continue reading

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Foul

Ronaldo has been voted Football Player of the Year for the second time. It’s probably because of those dazzling stepovers that confuse and torment opponents who just want to get on with the match.  I noticed that he tried a few … Continue reading

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Hidey Hole

Television program ‘A Place in the Sun’ has bright young English girl, Amanda Lamb, showing a middle-aged man around Fuerteventura.  No, it’s not an expose about an overseas escort service, it’s the latest chance to see a punter being dragged … Continue reading

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Manure

A foul smell detected in parts of England and Wales is being blamed on easterly winds bringing farming or industrial smells across the Channel.  Labelled “Euro-whiff” by the Met Office, the source of the smell – alternately described as sulphur … Continue reading

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