Hidden agendas

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that one of her characters, Hogwarts school headmaster Albus Dumbledore, is gay.

A spokesman for gay rights group Stonewall said: “It’s great that JK has said this.  It shows that there’s no limit to what gay and lesbian people can do, even being a wizard headmaster.”

No dude, it’s a story.  Nobody can actually be a wizard headmaster, not even a gay or lesbian person.

And what’s the surprise about him being gay?  JK gave us a clue in his name which is an anagram of ‘old arse, lubed bum’.  I can also reveal that we should keep an eye on Cornelius Agrippa (pair arse coupling).

Many other stories have hidden messages, it has recently been discovered that the music to ‘Eastenders’ transmits different subconscious instructions to each sex.  Men hear ‘Go to the pub’, go quickly now, before it’s too late,’ and women hear ‘He is useless and weak.  Let him go but punish him later.’

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