Author Archives: Dr Pete

Away with the ferries

My mate Dunston has decided to pack it all in, sail away and live on an island.  He’s sold his 3 bed-room Barratt Home, his Audi A6, his Armani suits and his Ikea furniture.  He bought his island from an … Continue reading

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In the sight of God

Now we can marry each other just about anywhere, in a castle, in the London Eye, on a beach or in The Falkirk Wheel (the world’s only rotating boat lift).  How it must annoy God to see non-Christian, non-church going, … Continue reading

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Another day’s birthdays – 15 September

If it’s your birthday today you share it with Oliver Stone and Tommy Lee Jones.  It should be some party – don’t let Oliver get started on his conspiracy theories and if Tommy disappears he’s probably skinning-up in the bathroom.  … Continue reading

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Global exposure

An Australian holiday resort in north Queensland called The White Cockatoo will hold a month-long, nude “anything goes” party in March aimed at combating the global credit crunch.   Here at The Open Wound we wondered what they mean by … Continue reading

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Bite Marx

An Arizona jogger has been bitten by a rabid fox. The animal attacked her foot and then as she grabbed its neck, it bit her arm and would not let go.  The jogger ran a mile to her car where … Continue reading

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Stunned Woolas talks Custard

Immigration Minister, Phil Woolas, was hit in the face by a custard pie thrown by a member of a pro-migration group.  A woman stepped on to the stage from the crowd and scored a direct hit from close range against … Continue reading

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