Author Archives: Dr Pete

Detached

The downturn in house sales is beginning to bite in the sleepy Shires of middle England. The Open Wound sent ace reporter, Timothy Flaps, to find out how our noble estate agents are coping with the crisis.  He interviewed Chris … Continue reading

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Personal power

Lingerie maker Triumph International Japan Ltd unveiled its environmentally friendly, “Solar Power Bra” on Wednesday. The bra’s solar panel requires light to generate electricity that can then be used for any appliances the wearer is carrying, such as a mobile … Continue reading

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Phone fear

A US couple checking their answering machine heard a frightening three-minute recording of their son caught in a battle in Afghanistan. Stephen Phillips, 22, was fighting insurgents when his mobile phone was pressed, causing it to dial his parent’s number … Continue reading

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Mocking the X-flicted

X Factor judge Louis Walsh was unable to attend the live show this weekend and so he was forced to watch it on television. He said: “I never want to watch the show from home again. I’ve been shouting at … Continue reading

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Fired up

Here at ‘theOpenWound’ the staff are talking about last night’s ‘The Apprentice’.   Apparently, Sir Alan got so excited that he sacked two hopefuls rather than the expected one.  “There’s no written rule that says I can only fire one … Continue reading

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Doing porridge

A black bear weighing over 400-lb is roaming the grounds of an American jail.  The Prison staff are looking upon this as an extra level of security. ‘I love that bear being right where it is,’ Warden Burl Cain, of … Continue reading

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