Author Archives: Dr Pete
Away with the ferries
My mate Dunston has decided to pack it all in, sail away and live on an island. He’s sold his 3 bed-room Barratt Home, his Audi A6, his Armani suits and his Ikea furniture. He bought his island from an … Continue reading
In the sight of God
Now we can marry each other just about anywhere, in a castle, in the London Eye, on a beach or in The Falkirk Wheel (the world’s only rotating boat lift). How it must annoy God to see non-Christian, non-church going, … Continue reading
Another day’s birthdays – 15 September
If it’s your birthday today you share it with Oliver Stone and Tommy Lee Jones. It should be some party – don’t let Oliver get started on his conspiracy theories and if Tommy disappears he’s probably skinning-up in the bathroom. … Continue reading
Global exposure
An Australian holiday resort in north Queensland called The White Cockatoo will hold a month-long, nude “anything goes” party in March aimed at combating the global credit crunch. Here at The Open Wound we wondered what they mean by … Continue reading
Bite Marx
An Arizona jogger has been bitten by a rabid fox. The animal attacked her foot and then as she grabbed its neck, it bit her arm and would not let go. The jogger ran a mile to her car where … Continue reading
Stunned Woolas talks Custard
Immigration Minister, Phil Woolas, was hit in the face by a custard pie thrown by a member of a pro-migration group. A woman stepped on to the stage from the crowd and scored a direct hit from close range against … Continue reading