Author Archives: Dr Pete
Bleak forecast
Parts of the UK are being battered by rain and fierce winds of up to 82mph that have brought down trees in Wales and south-west England and left 10,000 homes without electricity. Our roving reporter, Timothy Flaps, is on the … Continue reading
Hiccup research
Dr Francis Fesmire won the Ig Noble prize for his work on stopping hiccups. Runaway electrical impulses in the vagus nerve cause intractable hiccups, so Fesmire attempted to block them by stimulating the nerve. “Gagging, tongue pulling, sinus massage and … Continue reading
High tension cable
Do you know what’s really started to annoy me? Well, hang on a second I’ll tell you. Hang on. Okay! I’m going to tell you. In a moment. Here it comes: It’s the way that tv programme hosts and judges … Continue reading
Do ya feel lucky, punk?
Bill Gates with 58 billion dollars is now only the third richest person in the world. In at number one with 62 billion schamoozles is Warren Buffet, no doubt known in his local pub’ as ‘Bunny Buffet’ and in the … Continue reading
Britney beats Stalin
I see that the MSN News page is having a ‘Battle of the Stars’ so that we can vote on which celebrities we hate the most. Here are some of the current ratings: Britney Spears 81% Heather Mills 80% Michael Jackson 77% Lindsay … Continue reading
Not News
Natalie Portman has admitted she wants to grab her co-star Scarlett Johansson’s breasts, reports The Sun newspaper. “Seriously, I would really want to grab Scarlett’s breasts,” the actress is quoted as saying. “She’s got beautiful ones.” Yes, I’d like to … Continue reading