The Open Wound

“Hello Pooh,” said Eeyore, “What brings you to this wind-swept part of the country.  I expect you were going to see Rabbit and bumped into me by accident.”

“No, Eeyore, I came to see you.”

“Yes, you would say that, wouldn’t you?  But I know how things work.”

“That is why I came to see you Eeyore, because you know things.”

“Well, seeing as you stumbled across me, how can I help you, Pooh?”

“It’s this new Secondary School Diploma, I don’t know whether to choose that or to stick to the standard GCSE choice.”

“Ha!” said Eeyore, and then he said it again.  Twice.  “Ha, Ha!”

“The first five Diplomas start being taught in September 2008 in the employment sectors of creative and media, information technology, health and social care, construction and the built environment and engineering,” Eeyore continued.  “They are supposed to offer opportunities to the clever, like me, and the not-so-clever, like you.”

“But are they any good?” asked Pooh, rubbing his behind where he had just sat on one of Eeyore’s thistles.

“They will become the Qualification of Choice according to one Government Minister, whose name I forget.”

“I think that’s Balls,” said Pooh.

“Yes, so do I Pooh.  So do I.”

Eeyore chewed thoughtfully on a rather prickly leaf.

“Anyway, the point is that Diplomas have a ‘workplace slant’ so that a Bear With Very Little Brain would find it easier to find employment whilst a More Intelligent Individual would still be able to use it to get into University.”

“And would they help me get into the House Building Industry?” asked Pooh, hopefully.

“No, they wouldn’t.”

“Is that because they really aren’t that good, Eeyore?”

“No Pooh, it’s because there’s no bloody housing industry,” said Eeyore, gloomily.