Four star menu

 Famous swearing chef Gordon Ramsay opened a £3million restaurant in New York called Gordon Ramsay at The London.  But critics were unimpressed and several put the boot in.   Ramsay, 40, is said to be fuming.New York Magazine’s critic Gael Green was the most outspoken.
She wrote: ‘The chef’s signature feint, a luscious smoky froth with white beans has us sighing, but almost everything else is a work-in-progress.

 “****ing ****,” said Ramsay.  “***** and *****, cod balls, ****ing  pot roast and ****oles!”

“We are shocked by a leathery lobster ravioli and an unseemly marriage of langoustine tails and maple-infused chicken (not to mention the bill),” continued Green.

She also hit out at the toilet doors which didn’t lock properly.

“****ing lobster, ****  ****** chicken!  Toilet ****ing door! How was I to ****ing know she was in there having a s**t!?” replied Ramsay, “****** toad in the **** and stuffed ****!”

Unfortunately, Mr Ramsay had to be carried away by four waiters at this point.  Ice packs were applied to his forehead and groin and a luscious smoky froth with white beans was massaged into his buttocks until he became calm again.

How we all love a happy ****ing ending

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