Another day’s birthdays – 15 September

If it’s your birthday today you share it with Oliver Stone and Tommy Lee Jones.  It should be some party – don’t let Oliver get started on his conspiracy theories and if Tommy disappears he’s probably skinning-up in the bathroom.  If he gets weary and starts banging on about Pam you can slap him around a bit (it’s allowed under the Constitution).  Other than that, lay back and relax.  If they break anything they can definitely afford to replace it. 

A hedgehog is recovering after surviving a spin in a 40-degree washing machine cycle. The female creature was nicknamed Lucky by staff who have been caring for her at the Brent Lodge wildlife hospital, near Chichester, in West Sussex. Hospital manager Penny Cooper said the hedgehog wandered into a private home and burrowed into a pile of washing that was then put into the machine.

The hedgehog has lodged a formal complaint against the Hospital, upset about her new nickname.  ‘Lucky, my arse!  Lucky is if your lottery ticket comes up!  Getting a 40-degree, underwater, wall of death ride is bloody unlucky if you ask me!’ said the hedgehog. 

‘I don’t know why she’s being so prickly,’ said a spokeswoman.

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