Here at the Open Wound we’re not afraid of euphemism, double-entendre and innuendo.
You may occasionally spot us slipping one in.
But making the News this week is Dr Terence Kealey a lecturer from the University of Buckingham, who has no time for ambiguity and suggestion; he comes right out and says it how it is:
“Most male lecturers know that, most years, there will be a girl in class who flashes her admiration and who asks for advice on her essays.
What to do? Enjoy her! She’s a perk.”
Having distanced himself from every female student he has ever met and ensured a drastic fall in undergraduate applications, he now starts to demolish his marital relationship:
“The student will flaunt you her curves, which you should admire daily to spice up your sex, nightly, with the wife.”
Firstly, I don’t believe he is getting anything nightly other than troubled sleep.
Secondly he has now told his wife that he’s busy thinking about young curvy students when he’s getting his old spice at home.
Bravely, Dr Kealey moves his life to Defcon One by including his university colleagues in his confession:
Dr Kealey recalled the days when sex between student and tutor, in return for academic favours, could go by unchecked.
“Thanks to the accountability imposed by the Quality Assurance and other intrusive bodies, the days are gone when a scholar could trade sex for upgrades.”
The National Union of Students condemned the comments as insulting and disrespectful to women.
“Our members won’t be handled this way. It might make it hard for us but we will have to suck it up and swallow the consequences. We won’t just bend over backwards, roll over and take it.”
“That’s what She said,” chortled Dr Kealey.
Ok, so maybe he likes a little bit (of innuendo, we mean)