The Rose ‘n’ Bowl pub in Stacksteads, Lancashire, recently hosted the World Gravy Wrestling Championships. The contest was won by Joel Hicks, a 30-year-old barrister wrestling under the name of Stone Cold Steve Bisto.
“The final was really tough and it is much more difficult than you think. I had to employ the techniques I’ve learnt in the High Court.”
“You mean tenacity and perseverance?” our reporter asked.
“No, I got behind them and grabbed their testicles.”
“This is a great advertisement for our product,” said a gravy splattered gravy spokesman. “Bisto can be used for many things, such as waterproofing flat roofs, killing mosquito larvae and scabbing over gunshot wounds. The fact that most people only use it to deaden the taste of their meals is a shame.”
“Yes, it’s certainly versatile,” agreed landlady Carol Lowe, “Now that they’ve finished wrestling in it we’ve got enough for our restaurant lunches until this time next year.”
“But what about the dirty scum?”
“We don’t let them in the restaurant; they have to stay in the public bar.”