Eighty four year old Nigerian, Mohammed Bello Abubakar has 86 wives.
“I don’t go looking for them, they come to me,” said Mister Abubakar, “God did not say what the punishment should be for a man who has more than four wives.”
The Open Wound asked God that question.
“The crime is also the punishment,” said an unfathomable God, “Abubakar might pretend he’s 84 but I can tell you he’s only 36, he just looks 84. Now stop bothering me, my Tesco home shopping’s just turned up and I have to check for ridiculous substitutions.”