Invisible man

‘This summer, the floral trend isn’t just for women. You guys can get into the flower power too and incorporate this look in your wardrobes. Whip out a Hawaiian shirt and team it with a pair of casual shorts to get into the summer mood.’
 msn Life & Style.

Normally I wouldn’t take fashion advice from my computer software provider, anymore than I’d ask the woman behind the till at Burtons Tailors how to configure my Xbox 360.  However, on this occasion, the flowery clothing tip from msn was too good to resist and I quickly whipped out the Hawaiian shirt and shorts that had been neglected at the bottom of my wardrobe since that unfortunate incident with the hornets in 1993.

Later that day, when the wife returned from the shops she came to find me in the garden.  Imagine my delight when I found that she walked right past without speaking or acknowledging me in any way!

It appeared that as long as I stood still in front of the flowerbeds I was completely camouflaged!  I decided to continue the joke, stand still and see how long it would take her to find me.
The wife went back into the house and I remained motionless, anxious to see how long I could fool her for.

Around four hours later, as it was getting dark, my daughter came into the garden and walked straight up to me.

“Dad, mum says that you’ve missed your dinner and when you’ve finished sodding about, can you come in and do the washing up.
Oh – and she said that those shorts are far too small for you, tuck yourself in or there might be an accident next time she’s harvesting the mini-plum tomatoes.”

Mini plum tomatoes?  Bitch!


This entry was posted in Unlikely Reviews and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *