In space no one can hear you fart

A six-wheeled robot that will be sent to Mars is being tested in a giant sand pit in Stevenage.  The robot will sample the atmosphere of Mars for traces of gases that are produced by biological processes.  And across the gulf of space, intellects vast and cool regard our planet with envious eyes.

“What are the Earthlings doing now, Spangle10?”
“You may well ask, Fruitella521. They appear to be training another one of those little metal guys that they send up here.”

“Yes, they have assembled a large quantity of fine grade quartz and the little guy is trundling backwards and forwards across it. Also, they are making him sniff stuff.”

“Like coke?”
“No Fruitella521, more basic than that.  They are forcing him to smell organo-sulphides and biological methanes.”

“You mean ‘farts’!”
“Yes. It appears to be a punishment or torture.”

“Poor little fella.”
“It’s far worse than you think.”

“How could it be, Spangle10?”
“They are making him work in Stevenage.”

“Cruel bastards.”


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