Plane sailing

80,000 amateur aviation enthusiasts attended London’s annual Red Bull competition in which crews of gravity-defying hopefuls launched their home made crafts from a ramp above the Serpentine in Hyde Park.  Although most of the madcap machines fail to fly at all, the competition is not just judged on distance.  Entrants are also rewarded for their creativity and showmanship.


In first place was one of the RAF’s new Chinook Helicopters which managed a horizontal distance of 57 feet before disappearing into the Serpentine.

“We’re pleased with that,” said a Ministry of Defence spokesman, “the Chinese software worked for almost the entire flight.”


Second place was taken by the Mars Global Surveyor, which although it only managed to fly 20 feet forwards did attain a vertical height of about 35 million miles. 
“We’re pleased with that,” said a NASA spokesman, “we’ve been wondering where that bit of kit had gotten to since it disappeared in 2006.”


And in third place was Andy Gossard who whilst eating at Gordon Ramsay’s Boxwood restaurant suggested that the lamb was over roasted and needed more salt.

“We’re pleased with that,” said a spokesman, “Gordon’s never thrown somebody of that weight before.  The fact that Andy was still seated on his chair as he entered the water was sheer gastronomic genius!”






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