In a continuation of these pages interest in the planned shooting down of a rogue satellite, we can now reveal that the US went ahead and did it last night (GMT).
“We’re pretty sure we got it,” said a Navy spokesman. “We definitely hit something and it blew up. It was the satellite. Probably.”
Citizens of Earth can now rest assured that a small number of people will not be hit by large pieces of satellite; instead, a far greater number of people will be hit by small particles of space debris. NASA has denied that this will be a problem but have stated that if you see a work colleague slumped over their desk you should check their body for tiny holes before assuming they are asleep.
“It’s some sort of cover up,” said an Internet Nerd, “surely it can’t be a coincidence that the day the US shoot down a so-called ‘satellite’ is the same day there’s a full Lunar eclipse, and the same day the Civil Aviation Authority announce new flight paths for aircraft over the UK!”
Yeah, very strange. I also notice that Man’ United player Ronaldo was dazzled by a laser beam during their so-called ‘soccer match’ against Lyon last night.
Curiouser and curiouser.
