A Swedish university has received £300,000 in research funds to discover how much greenhouse gas is released when cows belch.
About 20 cows will participate in the project run by the Swedish University for Agricultural Sciences. Project leader Jan Bertilsson said 95 per cent of the methane released by cows comes out through the mouth.
“It’s the other 5% I’m worried about,” said Heidi Ikea, the junior scientist who will actually run the experiment. “It’s all very well for those Professors to make these plans, but it’s people like me who have to carry the load, and for no extra pay. I’ll probably just get a warm pat on the back!”
“Frankly the whole scheme is an insult,” said Cow 253, “we don’t mind giving up a bucket of milk twice a day in return for food and lodgings, but I didn’t sign a contract to be a guinea pig.”
“You didn’t sign a contract at all, you’re a cow!” interjected Cow 189.
“Look 189, you’ve been nothing but moody lately, is it your time of the month?”
“I’m milk stock, it never seems to be my time of the month,” replied 189 sadly.