Author Archives: Dr Pete

Swine

French police have riddled a wild boar with bullets after it got into a clothes shop in the city of Poitiers, forcing customers to flee. The boar, weighing 90kg (198lb), was shot after it began charging at police, the French … Continue reading

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Mad about the house

There’s a tubby middle aged bloke, probably a dad.  He’s messing about with a football in his lounge and making a ‘phone call at the same time.”Hello, is that Flakey Finance, I’d like to arrange a loan?” He nods in … Continue reading

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Wait for it.. wait for it..

OMG!  Why does every show on TV have to be a bloody competition? The airwaves are alive with rosy cheeked, bright eyed punters jumping through hoops for the TV companies like starving Labrador puppies trying to get the attention of … Continue reading

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Peanut chaos

Old Ted and I were knocking a few back at the bar of the ‘Slug and Philosopher’ last night. “So if what Wayne says about time is true, me dropping this peanut into his pint whilst he’s away in the … Continue reading

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Head cases

 Today’s round of ‘Egg Heads’ is well under way and Diemad Murderman is still awake. “Now, Egghead Judith, to save yourself from the isolation booth (and possible death), can you answer this question; in which city is The Leaning Tower … Continue reading

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A new wolf on the block

FA chairman Brian Barwick squinted into the glare of a thousand camera flashes with the facial expression of a man trying to work out the square root of 573. “We wanted a winner with a capital W,” he barked, as … Continue reading

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