Knightmares

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, has saved a woman who was being attacked by a gang of young girls, one of whom was brandishing an iron bar.  The woman called out for help to a passing cyclist, who turned out to be Mr Johnson.  He grabbed the weapon and chased off the girls.

Commentators have wondered why Mr Johnson’s advisers have not made more fuss of the incident; surely Boris is a modern Knight in Shining Armour and that would look good in the paper?

The reason is that those advisors have been unable to sleep because they have been haunted by the other possible outcomes:

“Boris ignores damsel in distress and cycles to safety”

“Boris beats twelve year old girl to death with iron bar”

“Boris badly beaten by gang of school girls.”

They were lucky this time, next time those sweaty, pale ‘yes-men’ might have to earn their large salaries.

Bicycle

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