Strictly on a Journey – Review

Why is everybody on a ‘journey’?  In ‘Strictly Not Dancing’ it’s only the first night and everyone will improve, they are on a ‘journey’.  In ‘I’m a B List Celebrity Hype Me Up Here’ everybody’s behaving like spoilt children, but it’s ok, they are on a ‘journey’. 
No they are not, they’ve been on a journey to get there and most of them will make the return journey home, but the whole point of the programme is that they stay where they are. 

If you want to see somebody on a journey, watch Michael Palin; he’s always off somewhere or other at the licence payers’ expense.  Or that Bruce Parry in ‘Tribe’; he’ll travel half way around the world and live off a handful of tree stump.  Those are real journeys.

Anyway, thank goodness ‘Strictly etc’ is back, it’s so exciting watching all those celebrities dancing with the professional dancers.  Last night Techtonic and Labia were attempting a progressive dance including a Guapacha step whilst dressed as the characters from ‘Dr Zhivago’.  But once in the Sweetheart position Techtonic got a piece of Labia’s muff trapped in his teeth and during the struggle to free himself they tripped and went headfirst into the audience.  Luckily they fell onto the sweet trolley and two black forest gateau’s and a bowl of sherry trifle cushioned their landing.  The trolley shot across the dance floor, down the stairs and out through the emergency exit with Techtonic and Labia desperately clutching onto it. 

A witness from outside the Television centre stated; “They were lucky because the number 220 bus just missed running them down, but they were unlucky because their trolley got caught on the number 72 bus and they were dragged off in the direction of Fulham.”
“Do you think they’ll be back next week?” asked our reporter.
“I dunno mate, it can get pretty rough in Fulham and they were dressed like fairies and smothered in what looked like cream cake.  If the people don’t get them, their cats and dogs will.”

If they get back, now that’s what I call a journey.

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