Why do some people play annoying, loud music out of their cars?
The Open Wound sent a reporter to find out.
“Excuse me young man, I wanted to ask you why you play loud, bass music from your car as you drive through the town centre?”
“Iss coz the punters they love it, dude. Ain’t it.”
“You think people like it?”
“Yeah. The peoples on the street. They findz us musik cool!”
“And can you tell me how you know that?”
“Everybody tellz me so. I knows all the folkz around this ghetto. I iz a local boy. What uvva questions you got? In it.”
“I have three more questions;
Why are you speaking Jamaican when you were born in Middlesex?
Why are you wearing pyjamas and a baseball cap whilst driving your car?
And why, oh why would you think that anybody other than a brain dead moron would want to hear that awful bloody noise that you blast out of your Batmobile?”
“Oooh…you iz soooo old, man! You are uncool! And furthermore, you iz going to get cut by my ringz when I gets out uv this vehicle and wails on your face!”
“So, why aren’t you getting out of your vehicle?”
“I appear to have got my speaker cables tangled up with the tie cord of my pyjamas, I mean, cutting edge street wear. I think I’m losing the circulation to my groin. Can you help me out, man?”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’ve got to go now before my ears start bleeding.”