A foul smell detected in parts of England and Wales is being blamed on easterly winds bringing farming or industrial smells across the Channel. Labelled “Euro-whiff” by the Met Office, the source of the smell – alternately described as sulphur and manure – is under investigation.
But these pages can exclusively reveal that the hideous stink is due to quavery voiced crooner Chris De Burgh releasing yet another compilation album.
His previous affronts include ‘Notes from Planet Earth (the Ultimate Collection)’ and also ‘The Ultimate Collection’.
The ‘foul smell’ has been caused by our mate Chris dropping his latest compilation, namely : “Now and Then”, which features classic tracks from his entire career (again).
Health experts have confirmed that short term exposure should not be a problem as long as victims leave the contaminated area as soon as possible. Over a longer period, especially if in a confined space, such as a 1980’s Disco, punters may become drowsy and nauseous. Liberal doses of ‘Kaiser Chiefs’ and ‘AC/DC’ should be given to sufferers found mumbling the lyrics to ‘Lady in Red’. A firm slap around the face should also help.