Not News

 Natalie Portman has admitted she wants to grab her co-star Scarlett Johansson’s breasts, reports The Sun newspaper.
“Seriously, I would really want to grab Scarlett’s breasts,” the actress is quoted as saying. “She’s got beautiful ones.”

Yes, I’d like to grab them too, but unfortunately I’d get forty hours community service and vilified in the press, whereas Natalie is admired for being a wacky, slightly out-of-step yet sexy actress (she doesn’t mean it, she’s just joking us around).
“I didn’t mean it,” I shout as they drag me off the red carpet and into the police van. “I was just being wacky, I hate touching actresses breasts! Honest!”

What is it about The Sun and breasts?  Does The Mother Magazine give us the latest casualty figures from Iraq, the sports news and comment on the latest interest rate rise? What’s that you say?  It does?
Sorry, I didn’t know, I haven’t read it; I only buy it for the pictures.


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