Today’s round of ‘Egg Heads’ is well under way and Diemad Murderman is still awake.
“Now, Egghead Judith, to save yourself from the isolation booth (and possible death), can you answer this question; in which city is The Leaning Tower of Pisa?”
“Well, now that’s an interesting question. Of course, I’ve visited the tower and climbed all 293 steps. The tower was built in 1173 and is 186ft high, at least on one side!” she laughs in a posh sort of a way.
“So, which city is it in?” asks Diemad, patiently.
“It leans at an angle of 3.97 degrees and weighs 14,500 tonnes, you know,” simpers Judith.
“So, do you know the answer or not?” Diemad speaks through clenched teeth.
His fingers grip his pencil so hard that it snaps and the sharp end flicks across the desk and embeds itself into Egghead CJ’s forehead.
“Obviously, the answer is Pisa!” Judith is triumphant.
“Yes, that’s the correct answer, but why do you have to show off? Why can’t you just say ‘Pisa’ and be done with it?”
“That’s a rhetorical question!” he snaps as Judith opens her mouth to answer.
“Now it’s the challengers’ question,” continues Diemad, “Barry from ‘The Doughnuts’, what is the chemical formula for Dichlorobutene?”
Barry scratches his head, “Can I ask a question, Diemad?”
“Yes, of course you can, Barry.”
“Why is it that when it gets to the crunch point in the quiz, the Eggheads always get really easy questions and the challengers get stinkers?”
Diemad looks blank for a while and we can just hear the director shouting through his earpiece, like a bluebottle trapped against a window.
“Okay,” says Diemad eventually, “I’ll ask you another question; how many steps are there in the Leaning Tower of Pisa?”
A big grin breaks across Barry’s face and he winks at Judith who glares back.
“293!” he says.
“No, sorry Barry, that’s wrong and you’ve lost this week’s quiz, the respect of your team-mates and possibly your testicles! The correct answer is 294 steps!”
Diemad quickly gathers his papers, pulls on his jacket and runs out of the studio.
“Can nobody beat these Eggheads?” he remembers to shout from the carpark.
