Author Archives: Dr Pete
Drop dead gorgeous
Harrods are now stocking a high security fashion range that includes bullet proof dinner suits, polo shirts and denim jackets. The clothes are priced according to protection value, the most expensive can stop automatic rifle fire, and the cheapest may … Continue reading
Pony excess
In a week where the Global Financial Markets are going down the pan the top story in the Shires concerned a greedy pony who became inebriated after eating fermented apples, then fell into a swimming pool, and was unable to … Continue reading
Around the block
Britain‘s laziest man takes his dog for a walk while sitting in his car. Kevin Pyle gets his son to drive him round the block while he leads four-year-old pet bullmastiff Bruce alongside. Our reporter offered to interview Mr … Continue reading
No answer
A letter written by Oliver Cromwell in 1642 has been unearthed in a council office. An Essex council spokesman said: “In the letter, dated March 1642, Cromwell recommends a Captain Dodsworth for promotion. Unfortunately, the letter was put in our … Continue reading
Money for old rope
A black, iron machine about the size of a single bed stands in the middle of the Dragons Den. The latest contender climbs the stairs and turns to the four Dragons. “Hello, I’m Joe Punter and I’m here to get … Continue reading
A day in the life
A man who was taken to hospital after being hit by a train had been knocked down by a car just a few minutes earlier. Lewis, from Glasgow, Scotland, was hit by the train whilst walking his bicycle across a … Continue reading