A new piece of research could spare women from pain from their bras while exercising.
Deranged scientists have been studying women and their associated breasts. Two women volunteers, one wearing a 36D bra and the other a 38DD, were instructed to walk on a treadmill at 4.3mph and then speed up to a jog of 6.2mph in front of a crowded viewing room.
“What do you scientists hope to gain from this?” asked our reporter.
“We’re not scientists mate, we’ve paid good money for these seats!” said a milkman from Swanage. “The scientist is that nerdy bloke over there.”
“A consequence of current bra design is that the brassiere straps bear much of the load generated by breast momentum during physical activity,” said the nerd.
“As breast mass increases, breast bounce momentum also increases, placing large loads on the straps and, in turn, excessive pressure on the wearer’s shoulders.”
“Can you actually construct a sentence without the word ‘breast’ in it?” asked our bemused journalist.
“There’s nothing wrong with a healthy interest in women’s breasts.”
“See, you just did it again.”
“You can’t, can you?”
“Breast, breast. Breast.”