Quick, get down to the shops! The new perfumes are out in time for Christmas.
Alex Curran has come up with a perfume which is described as “…an exotic blend of florals and musks.. that not only represents her life in a bottle, but will also appeal to the many legions of OK! Magazine fans out there.”
Miss Curran is the wife of a premiership footballer but somehow she has found the time to participate in advanced chemistry and emerged from her garden shed, with a cute, little smudge of dirt on her nose and an expensive bottle of cheap liquid called Alex in her fist.
“I wanted a perfume that you can put on in the morning and still smell by the end of the day, and I think the mix of the crisp citrus and the long-lasting musks does just that.’
Mmmm…mixed citrus and musk crisps. Smelly.
The Perfume Shop. Head of Marketing, Julia Bolsom enthused: “This is a really special fragrance that gets to the heart of what celebrity scent is all about – it certainly is a little bit of Alex in a bottle!”
That explains how she produced it so quickly.
I hope there’s enough to go around for those scary Legions, marching together towards an OK tomorrow. They just need a tiny bit of Alex dabbed onto their shiny, orange necks to make them happy until the next bit of hype comes along.
If my life was represented in a bottle it would be that little Soy sauce with the torn label at the back of the kitchen cupboard, topped up with some John Smith’s extra smooth and a drop of chicken fat. If you sprayed that on in the morning you’d definitely still smell by the end of the day.
